A month before the public screening of the University of Arizona College of Fine Arts BFA thesis films, I thought of how to tell you: Carolyn's film, Snooze, is whimsical and deep and kinda what the world needs. Come see it at the Fox Theatre on April 29th! So... I got to play a biology teacher in this short film [smiley face with big teeth]. To see this and other gems made by brainy and ultra-committed young filmmakers, click here. Beware my [list of facial imperfections related to aging]! I Dream In Widescreen happens in a few weeks and you're invited. Did you know it takes fifteen hours to shoot three two-minute scenes?... But none of these announcements sounded right. I couldn't get past the idea that I'd be saying, basically, look what I did, when this was Carolyn's huge creative project. I was but a teensy sliver.
What I decided to say to you about this event?
Nothing.
The prospect of posting things like this (or anything) on social media makes me want to cover my eyes. It feels to me like I'm taking up your time. Like I'm shaking my pom poms for myself. Often when I visit Facebook I know that--occasionally-- it would be good to wave a flag or glue up a picture or offer a silly whatnot. Instead, I 'like' your thoughts and artwork for months before I inch toward the “What's on your mind?” box. I don't want to sound trivial or ego-ish or weird. It's the same with sending out my newsletters. Blog posts. Announcing these super-sweet and neat-o writing programs. I take a hilarious amount of time arranging events in my calendar, updating my website and designing fliers. I question whether it's all good enough to put out there. I change and re-change titles. I replace photographs with better ones. Then event dates get too close and I have to cancel them. My eyes open wide. I grumble at my nutsy-ness and start over. Truly, I am happy-- quietly helping you feel your heart beat through your writing! I love seeing what happens when you write together and resonate and make personal discoveries!. But how can you even experience this if you don't know about these writing programs?! Right now as I type, I'm nervous about announcing this thing. My shoulder muscles are cramped. I want it out the door today, but clearly it's not ready. Is the tone right? Is the message complete enough? Have I used too many exclamation marks?! Where to start? Near as I can tell, it's here. Where I don't question my message any longer. Time to say, Done, and send it off. So. That photograph up there? It's not Photoshopped. It's me. I was in a film! It was a great film Carolyn made! So what if the screening was a month ago? At least you know, now. Right?
Film still from Snooze, written and directed by Carolyn McKee. Photo by Jesse Jackson.